My firsthand experience dealing with abuse was as early as I can remember; I was about five years old. My father would yell, hit my mother, and call her names. My father was always in and out of the prison system due to mental illness and substance use. My mother ended up getting into another relationship with another man who would physically assault her also. In spite of this, I would still consider him my stepdad up until my early adult years. I was never shown what a healthy relationship was or what boundaries were.

This lack of awareness led me to make the wrong choices when choosing someone to be in a relationship with and, like my mother before me, this surely affected my mental well-being. That led me down a path of repeating learned behaviors from what I’ve witnessed and had been exposed to. I remember helping my mother by calling the police at five years old to make a report against my own father. I should not have had to assist with this at such a very young age. My stepdad at times would give my mother black eyes which would keep her from taking me to school when I was in elementary school. As I’ve gotten older, I have fallen victim to allowing those who I cared about to do the same. I chose the wrong partners. I am a survivor of a brutal domestic assault by someone I cared about.

Some signs of abuse like physical harm, are easy to spot.